Guest blogging today is our old friend, SuperCounselor,
who scolded me mercilessly about not posting more frequently graciously offered to cover for me while I try to keep up with everything that’s been going on at school.
Hello, Fellow School Counselors! SuperCounselor here, to share with you my top ten list of resources that no school counselor should ever be without. Oh, I know, I know, where would we be without our social skills games, bullying books, sandtrays, and bulletin boards? But here are some handy tools that I just can’t do without! Um . . . well . . . er . . . actually, I often do do without them, because I’m not quite sure where to purchase them. (Except for one, which I carry with me at all times. P.S. It’s free!) The items are listed in no particular order, except for the last one, which is always number one. Their rank changes, moment to moment, depending on whatever situation is currently vexing me. If you find a source for them please contact me ASAP!
10. Invisibility Cloak. You know, like the one Harry Potter has. This cloak is perfect for getting from Crisis A to Potential Solution B without people stopping you for Not-Actually-A-Crisis-Even-Though-They-Think-It-Is issues C,D,E,F, and G.
9. Catheter. You know why. SuperCounselor is amazed that there isn’t a bladder-exploding epidemic among school counselors. Correction: Having just searched images of catheters, a traumatized SuperCounselor now recommends an en-suite, private bathroom. (And a memory eraser for anyone who has seen pictures of catheters.)
8. Roller Skates. See also Teleporter. Because sometimes fast walking is not enough. Do you ever do that thing where you run in the empty hall until you get to a classroom door, whereupon you walk while you’re passing it and then start running again? SuperCounselor does it all the time.
7. Crap Detector. No, no, no, I don’t mean the crap-detector that certain grad school professor (you know the guy) talked about – the one that helps you determine someone’s authenticity. I’m talking here about an actual crap detector, which enables you to figure out from the far too large pool of potential candidates, who exactly it is that is doing the feces smearing. Um, yeah, can someone remind me why, actually, everyone thinks I am the lead detective when this particular “crime scene” develops? I’d really much rather be the rookie cop. Or better yet, the dispatcher.
6. Dark Magic. No eye of newt required, just some very powerful beans.
5. Herding Instinct. The better to head off all the little runners, pokey hall walkers, bathroom hider-outers, and gotta-go-to-the-nurse-right-now-I’m-dying work avoiders.
4. Mute Button. For those times when you’re about to say things like: “Sure, I’d be glad to head up yet another committee that requires frequent meetings, oodles of tasks, and a complicated report to submit to the state!”
3. Cloning Machine. In a pinch, Ability to Stop Time will do.
2. Wings. For all those times you have to “wing it.” In a variety of styles, to complement your outfit or fit your mood. I’m quite partial to butterfly wings, but when facing down administrative ridiculousness, demon wings make a far more striking, and appropriate fashion statement.
And the hands down, bar none, number one tool no school counselor should be without is . . .
1.The Sixth Sense. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, not that Sixth Sense! SuperCounselor hates scary movies! Taste, Touch, Smell, Vision, and Hearing are all well and good, but the sense every school counselor cannot do without (and we all have access to) is a Sense of Humor. It’s a lifesaver.
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