This is not a tale of the high seas. It’s about one stormy year in kindergarten, when a combination of individual students’ behaviors developed into a “perfect storm” of bullying. A couple of kids didn’t know how make and keep friends without using intimidation. Some others’ impulsivity hindered their ability to think before they acted. Some did not know how to be assertive, and reacted in a way (tears, giving in to intimidation) that reinforced the bullying. A few did not know how to make good friendship choices, and consistently put themselves back into situations in which someone else might be mean to them. Some had annoying behaviors that unwittingly provoked a bullying response. The kindergarten teachers, special educators, and I were in constant reactive mode, life jackets on, bailing like crazy. We intervened every time we saw or heard about bullying. We added lessons and read-alouds to expand upon Second Step. I spent additional time in the classroom and worked with several students individually (none of the involved kids were ready for a group.) We followed our school’s discipline protocol, had parent meetings, set up behavior plans, and brought individual cases to the Education Support Team. But it still wasn’t enough.  Some days it felt like the ship was going down. I know you know the feeling. Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of Tums!

When a situation gets overwhelming like this, it’s time to step back, take a good look at what is happening and why, and make a plan. So . . .

This is also a tale of smoother sailing in first grade. We remixed our crew and assigned them to new ships. A few new sailors signed on with us, and some of the old salty dogs embarked for other oceans. The new captains were prepared for the journey. And this admiral (cabin girl?) hoisted sail with a comprehensive counseling plan to:

1. create a new first grade classroom unit on bullying
   
2. facilitate a small group focused on increasing assertiveness and making good friendship choices
3. develop individual counseling plans to increase empathy and friendship skills, and decrease bullying and impulsive behaviors

The great thing about taking the time to develop a comprehensive plan (and it does take time) is that you can ensure that the various aspects will work together, each aspect strengthening the others. In the long run it saves time and makes your job easier. And it really helps kids!

The three aspects of this plan were indeed woven together:

The classroom lessons:

• helped students know how to report bullying
• provided a foundation for the small group skill-building activities and my individual work with students who were bullying
• encouraged other first graders to include others who had previously been targeted and excluded
• helped me assess my individual students’ empathy skills and understanding of bullying and friendship concepts
  

The small group:

• helped group members improve friendship skills, which improved the likelihood that they would be included in other first graders’ play
• increased group members’ ability to think and make decisions about playing with kids who are mean to them
• helped me assess group members’ needs as they navigated the first grade social world

The individual counseling:

• helped me assess and address lagging empathy and friendship skills, impulsivity, and outside stressors
  
• provided pre-teaching for classroom bullying lessons
• offered support during the difficult stage when the individuals’ social power had decreased as a result of previous targets becoming more assertive, but friendship skills had not yet increased to fill the need for social connection

I will include details of each of these aspects in upcoming posts.

But you don’t need my ideas to make your own comprehensive plans!  When a storm arises just batten down the hatches, weigh anchor, and pretty soon it’ll be “Land ho!” You’ll sail right through. Ahoy, mateys!